grow older better

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On birthdays, social media and friends

NYC girl scouts circa early 1950's – some of whom I am still in contact with

Yesterday was my birthday…

Starting over the weekend, many friends on Facebook wished me a happy birthday.

[FYI – Facebook posts the date of your birth if you want it to show. Twitter and other sites do not.]

Some of those on Facebook I have met in real life [or IRL as we say] – but most I have never met – or rather – I should say have not yet met. I am sure I will meet many in the future as we have a lot in common.

Some of my non-social media friends wonder why I call my online friends – friends! Well to me they are friends.

They were there for me in my depression when my pets died and in my joy when I announced that my son was getting married.

They are ardent supporters of my writing and my thoughts about politics and life – and they sometimes enjoy my videos and photographs [and even my knitting projects ]

So – what is a friend?

I have friends I see every day, I have friends from years ago that I stay in contact with via phone and visits, and some with whom I am in contact only via email or online. And of course, my online-only friends.

Is there a difference in these friends? Yes. For those from the far ago pasts, and even my not-so-far-ago pasts – we may have different points of view and events on life now – but we once shared a history and that can't be discarded.

Those histories forge a bond of friendship. And the social media friends? We are creating our own history and forging a different kind of friendship…

But to me – they are all friends!

Comments? Thank you!

01/26/2011
My son got married!

This "baby" got married last week!

I often say that I don't believe in coincidences – I believe that all things are related even if they may not seem so to others.

For example – my son got married on January 5th – to his long time g.f. – presided over by a judge at the marriage court in Chicago. [No one there but them as they will do a ceremony and reception in Oregon this summer]

That date also marked the 7th anniversary of my buying my house in Portland Oregon!

My son was with me here when I put in the offer but had gone back to Chicago soon after and I am not sure he knows the closing date. [Everyone in the neighborhood knows as it was the ice storm of 2004.]

If I had not moved to Portland, he would not have been here to visit me one summer and meet his now-wife…so no coincidence that the dates match – it was already in the "scheme of the universe."

There are so many more universe schemes at play but those are grist for another mill – or another post…

cross-posted from gray wolf productions

01/13/2011
Boomers! Welcome to my world!

On January 1, 2011 the first wave of baby boomers started turning 65 and are now eligible for Medicare…

Some worry there won't be sufficient funds in either Medicare or Social Security to last for the rest of their lives.

Many boomers will not yet retire as they can not yet afford to do so!

Medicare may be a good plan but the cost of participation tends to increase both on the Government side and the private sector side. Medicare Advantage programs are not free…even to some say they are … you get what you pay for…

And Social Security? We are into the second year of no increase in the monthly payout.

To add to the worries, if you live in Oregon – you have another concern if you are in a senior care facility.. or wind up in one….because Oregon elder care has glaring lacks!

Federal law requires states to have an ombudsman to protect the rights of people in long-term care. The average state has one ombudsman monitoring 2,220 beds. Oregon has just one for 6,692 beds.

Oregon relies on volunteers..but if everyone needs to keep working to afford to live – who will be the volunteers taking care of and looking out for Oregon's elder population?

Scary thoughts to start your 65th birthdays!

Thoughts? Comments? Thank you for posting below….

01/04/2011
Important Medicare Change Deadline

Seniors know that we are now in Open Season for changing our Medicare Advantage providers if we so choose.

We know this as our mailboxes are filled with ads from every company in our zip code which provides this insurance!

BUT – in 2010 we MUST make any changes by the end of this December. The deadline is not next March like it used to be!

If you are a senior or know a senior – PLEASE – be sure if they want to make any changes that they do so by the end of this month!

12/08/2010
On a dog dying

Sam – a dog who is missed / photo by Lynn Dorman

Sam is a Malamutt I adopted almost 8 years ago – when he was about 2 1/2 years old. He had a different name when I adopted him but within a short time he seemed liked a Sam and he loved the name. So Sam he became!

We moved to Portland almost 7 years ago and it was a perfect spot for him: dogs, dog parks and dog people…he was in heaven!

This summer, soon after he turned 11, he started fading. At first I thought it was the heat [he and I don’t “do” heat very well] but he never really perked up as we went into late August – and then he went on a steady decline.

It was hard on me and I spent a lot of time just being with him. I made him special meals and sat with him as he ate. His legs had trouble holding up his 120 pounds so he ate more when lying down.

For a dog who never met a food he did not like it was sad to see him not want to eat much of anything.

His systems were all still working and up to his last few days, he was still able to walk ever so slowly up the ramp to the road. But there came a day he could not longer do that.

I won’t go into detail here about his last few days, and our conversations, but I will offer some insights I have had in the almost 3 weeks since he died and why his death has been harder than the death of other dogs.

As an adult, I have had a dog or two and/or a child around for over 40 years. I got my first dog when I was about 29 and so I have had a dog or my son to care for [or need me] since then.

With Sam’s death I realized this is the first time since I was 29 that I don’t have a dog or child in the house! It’s like I have nothing to “take care of.”

Yes I have a cat, and for about 2 weeks after Sam died, she hung around the house and the moorage – but now she is back to being a cat. She stays out all day and sometimes all night. And like a cat, she is affectionate only when she wants to be – not like Sam who just loved people watching and being patted.

And for now, I am taking care of me. I can work, travel and do things without having to go home to feed and walk a dog or call my friend to do that for me.

It’s hard at times, but I am beginning to enjoy a real empty nest.

Comments? Thank you

10/10/2010