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  • Wow – You Don’t Look Your Age!

    birthday cake with many candles

    When people say, "You don't look your age" – or “I’d never have guessed you were that old,” we are supposed to think of it as a complement.

    But to me, the developmental psychologist, it means that they have a preconceived idea of what "my age" should look like: a preconceived notion or bias about certain ages; especially “older” ages. We are our ages; therefore we do look our age!

    We grow up with many biases about people and other things because having biases is a part of being human. Your biases are based on your family, community and culture.  [I write more about biases in You Can Totally Screw Up As A Mom And Still Raise Great Kids.]

    Certain biases are neither good nor bad, but it is important to know your own biases as they affect what you see, do and say. 

    And many of our biases center around "ages and stages." 

    We often compartmentalize people as being and looking certain ages and stages – and then we often comment on how they are not doing as we expected!

    "Stop acting like a child!"
    “Act your age!”
    “You are too old to be acting like that!”
    “You are too young to be acting like that!”

    The next time you are tempted to say anything relating to a person's "age," stop and think about what you really mean!

    Comments? Thank you

  • Brains and Multitasking Written Products

    In my book, You Can Totally Screw Up As A Mom And Still Raise Great Kids, I say this:

    I had a conversation one day with the mother of a one-year-old who was saying that her daughter's language development had seemed to stall – but that she was running all over the place. That happens – pieces of the development puzzle often compete with each other. Some adults, the saying goes, can't "think and chew gum at the same time." Well – in adults we see it as funny – in kids – it's part of the pattern of language and physical development.

    The body needs a lot of energy for language and for running – or in broader terms for cognitive development and physical development. At this point in your child’s life, it may be that the amount of energy required for one of these activities is so great, that one is all your child can do at a time. 

    After the walking/running is under control – language will zoom ahead. It hadn't stopped developing – it was still undergoing the process but we weren't seeing it – or hearing it. 

    Well – I seem to be like the child. I finished the book and fiddled with it: working on the cover and formatting to get it up for sale: You Can Totally Screw Up As A Mom And Still Raise Great Kids [on Amazon for your Kindle] and at Barnes and Noble for your Nook.

    Then my fingers and brain seemed to be controlled by another ebook just waiting to be written and that one is It's Not Always Baby Fat! which is about our childhood obesity epidemic.

    It too is now published:  It's Not Always Baby Fat! [for your Kindle] or [for your Nook.]

    BUT

    it seemed my brain, fingers and time can only go toward "so much" writing and then no more – and so my blog posting stopped! Just like the one-year-old's language development had stopped when she started running.

    I could switch from writing one book to the other – but until recently [a lull in the brain?] I could not switch from book to blog…

    Is it normal brain functioning? Or aging? Or just my quirk?

    Or is it a simply a good lesson to learn!

    That what we think of as childhood development is not always only in childhood – sometimes the same normal processes are at work in adults!

    Do you ever have tings like this happen?  Please share your thoughts.

  • Mother’s Day 2011

    Ethel Dorman circa 1932

    The Original Mother’s Day Proclamation

    I post this poem every year but commentary differs.

    We have gotten so far away from the original thoughts of Julia Ward Howe and made Mother's Day into yet another day to promote shopping and buying.

    [my mom, circa 1932]

    We are encouraged to telephone, send cards, send flowers and buy mom all matter of stuff.

    I doubt many Mother's Day shoppers even know how this day came to be or that it started as an anti war poem!

    Take time this weekend to reflect about what Julia Ward Howe wrote.

    Mother's Day Proclamation – 1870
    by Julia Ward Howe

    Arise then…women of this day!

    Arise, all women who have hearts!

    Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!

     

    Say firmly:

    "We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,

    Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,

    For caresses and applause.

    Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn

    All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.

    We, the women of one country,

    Will be too tender of those of another country

    To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

     

    From the voice of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with

    Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!

    The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."

    Blood does not wipe our dishonor,

    Nor violence indicate possession.

    As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil

    At the summons of war,

    Let women now leave all that may be left of home

    For a great and earnest day of counsel.

     

    Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.

    Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means

    Whereby the great human family can live in peace…

    Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,

    But of God –

     

    In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask

    That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,

    May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient

    And the earliest period consistent with its objects,

    To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,

    The amicable settlement of international questions,

    The great and general interests of peace.


    ******************
    Let's elect more mothers and end war!

    And in the meantime – let's bring the troops HOME!!

    Peace

  • An Old Scam With A New Twist

    Please beware –  if you know of some newer users online who might not know about the old Nigerian scams which have now graduated from the mail box to the inbox.

    In these days of post 9/11 money concerns – the threat of being charged with money laundering may scare some into responding to this scam!

    INTERNATIONAL POLICE AUTHORITY UNITED STATES SECTION (IPA)
    Region No. 2 New York City
    P.O. Box 804 Knickerbocker Station
    New York City, New York 10002-0804 USA
    E-mail: [deleted]

    Attn: Sir / Madam

    We, office of the international police authority (IPA) hereby write to inform you that we caught a diplomatic lady called Mrs. Vernon Wallace at (John F Kennedy International Airport) here in New York with a consignment box filed with United State Dollars.

    Meanwhile, base on our interview to the diplomat she said that the consignment box belongs to you, that she was sent by one Williams I. Luis to deliver the consignment box to your doorstep not knowing that the content of the box is money. The diplomat also said that her first transit in the state was at Cincinnati Northern Kentucky International Airport Ohio.

    Now, the diplomat is under detention in the office of (IPA) security, and we cannot release her until we carry out our proper investigation on how this huge amount of money managed to be yours before we will release her with the box.. So, in this regards you are to reassure and prove to us that the money you are about to receive is legal by sending us the Award Ownership Certificate showing that the money is not illegal.

    Note, that the Award Ownership Certificate must to be secured from the office of the senate president in Nigeria, because that is the only office that will issue you the original Award Ownership Certificate of this funds, this is because the fund originated from Nigeria.

    You are advised to forward immediately the Award Ownership Certificate if you have it with you, but if you did not have it we will urge you to contact back the sender of the diplomat to help you secure the Award Ownership Certificate if at all you did not have it.

    Below is the contact information of the person that sent the diplomat:

    Name:  Williams I. Luis
    Email:  [deleted]

    Furthermore, we are giving you only but 3 working business days to forward the requested Award Ownership Certificate. Please note that we shall get back to you after the 3 working business days, that if you didn’t come up with the certificate we shall confiscate the funds into World Bank account then charge you for money laundering, but if you forward the Award Ownership Certificate then we will release diplomat with your consignment box also gives you every back up on the money.

    Thanks for your understanding and co-operation

    Yours Truly,

    I.P.A REGION NO:2

    DCP. DOUGLAS  H. KING

    Cc: FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI).

  • 10,000 Steps! Good For Me?

    Today in honor of Earth ay [and a rare sunny DRY day,] I walked to my nearest library branch.

    According to my pedometer it was 10,325 steps [or 5 plus miles!]

    In less than 2 hours, I got there and back, got some new books, took some photos, sat for a rest in the library, and stopped to shake grit out of my shoes.

    Not a bad pace for an old lady! But then I love walking and do lots of it.

    Health providers, including mine, say that one should take 10,000 steps a day to remain in good health! Duh? That would mean that I should walk to and from the library EVERY day! Or do the equivalent of this round trip.

    Not gonna happen. Not on a regular basis. Besides does it add to my health to have breathed in whatever the cars and trucks speeding by were spewing out their exhausts? And what of the “stuff” kicked up by their tires that I not only had to remove from my shoes, but also got in my eyes, nose, throat – and assume is now in my lungs!

    I’m not sure who comes up with the “you musts” for health…but this is one I shall say no thank you to. I’ll stick with my shorter cleaner walks along the levee and along my street – and the next time I am inclined to walk to the library – I’ll go by bicycle!