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Staying Put For A Change

October is my month of too many ambivalent feelings, many good and bad memories and way too many moves!

But this October is different!

I'm staying put and it is a record breaking event!

Since leaving New York City, I have not lived in the same home for more than 8 years….

Much as I do hate moving – I did it so regularly.

Moving was usually preceded by fixing up the house – painting etc. before selling it.

Now? I am in the same house for going on 9 years and the fixing up, painting and remodeling are all for ME!

It is an odd feeling..

I still don't love the rainy winters here – but I've learned to live with them – and since my son moved back to D.C. – I can go visit there or take a trip to another drier location…or stay here and ski [much more fun now that it is free]

An oddball thing that I have learned from this is that some small appliances like toaster ovens and microwaves are made to last only 7-8 years! As I was moving and usually not taking them with me I never knew that…

I know now as I have had to replace them..

My next thought is: can I live here longer than I lived in NYC?

Followed by: do I want to?

Comments? Thoughts? Thank you.

10/05/2012
The “New” Empty Nest

Many parents know what an empty nest is……

But did you know it can happen more than once or twice?

The first time you child leaves home, be it for college, the military, or just finding their own place – you can experience empty nest.

Your experience overall depends on how many children you have and whether or not some are still home…but one day all the kids are gone – they flew away – and the nest is empty!

This experience, I have found, also comes about when a pet dies and you are suddenly petless…but that empty nest, can, in time can be refilled with another pet, or two, or three.

You can not refill the nest with more babies, toddlers, teenagers or adults…

unless…..

Your grown child or children come home to live with you and bring their family with them.

Suddenly, your nest is very full!

But then….as their life circumstances change – they leave!

And that is the "new" empty nest….when your now adults child who has lived with you for a long stretch, flies off again!

The economy has made this type of empty nest more prevalent – as more adult children are returning to the nest for varying lengths of time..

Your experience overall depends on how many children you have and whether or not some are still home…but one day all the kids are gone – they flew away – and the nest is empty!

This experience, I have found, also comes about when a pet dies and you are suddenly petless…but that empty nest, can, in time can be refilled with another pet, or two, or three.

You can not refill the nest with more babies, toddlers, teenagers or adults…

unless…..

Your grown child or children come home to live with you and bring their family with them.

Suddenly, your nest is very full!

But then….as their life circumstances change – they leave!

And that is the new empty nest….when your now adults child who has lived with you for a long stretch, flies off again!

The economy has made this syndrome more prevalent as more adults children are returning to the nest for varying lengths of time..

But, like most everything in life, each change has its ups and downs….

There is an ambivalence about having an empty nest….you miss the kids like mad…but you have more space, time and energy…because no matter what age your kids are, when they live with you, they take energy..

In future posts, I'll write about what I am doing with my bursts of energy – but in the meanwhile…

Do you have thoughts? Comments?

Thank you…..

10/01/2012
Heat Waves Are Killers

Each year the earth is getting hotter and we are experiencing major heat waves and crop killing droughts.

While we hear, usually well in advance, about taking precautions for tornadoes, hurricanes and blizzards – we don't seem to get the same warnings through the media about heat waves.

BUT:

Natural disasters such as hurricanes, blizzards or tornadoes might be more dramatic and attention grabbing than a heat wave, but in reality, the heat may be capable of claiming more lives than even these violent storms.

The drama of hurricanes may be great TV but the deaths from heat are greater in number and do not get as much coverage.

Maybe because heat pictures are less interesting?

And deaths from heat are not pretty?

And sadly – maybe because most heat related deaths are older poorer people?

Living alone, being poor, and being in an apartment building, are factors in heat related deaths. the poor are congregated usually in the not-too-good parts of cities and no matter what is the temperature, residents do not open their windows because crime tends to enter.

Open windows are an invitation to crime. That's a sad statistic about modern cultures. And older, poorer people do not tend to use air conditioners because either they aren't supplied or they fear they won't be able to pay the high electric bill.

Please – if you have poor or elderly people living near you – do check on them.

Most towns and cities have a cooling center where they can spend the day and some may have night services.

We have overnight warming shelters for the extremely cold temperatures. We should have equivalent cooling shelters for the extremely hot weather.

08/15/2012
Infographic: Inactivity Is Bad

This is a follow up, in infogrpahic format, to the post on Inactivty is bad…

These images, as fun as they are to make, still take way way too much time…

but we are never too old to learn – right???

comments? thank you.

07/29/2012
Self-Esteem, Aging and Emotions

What is self-esteem?

Mostly it refers to our sense of self worth – how good we feel about ourselves and how we self-measure our value to society.

How we develop this sense of self worth is the story of psychological development.

Our feelings about ourselves come from our parents, friends, ourselves, teachers, life.

We see ourselves reflected in other people and other things – how we react to that assessment is the measure of our self-esteem.

If we see ourselves as less than others we are deemed to have low self-esteem.

If we have an internal sense of worth, not particularly tied to others, we are said to have good self-esteem.

The below quote from Einstein gives us a great thought about judging the development self-worth in ourselves or in others.

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.

Does self-esteem change over time? Oh yea!

For good or for bad – we are in control of our self-esteem. But we must, as Einstein suggests, use the “right” criteria for how we judge ourselves. And we are capable of changing those criteria.

As kids, we are more prone to the emotional clues and criteria awe get at home …. and that can be good for us or bad for us depending on our family and our culture.

As we age, we learn [or should learn] to develop our own self-worth criteria – and we can undo what we learned from our parents.

All parts of us change as we age…isn't it great that we not "stuck" emotionally or in negative self-esteem?

It is good – because too many people never develop a solid internal set of self-worth criteria and tie their self-esteem to externals such as:

work
money
house
car
kids
sports
spouse

As we age, these above external ties change or disappear….

What happens when the tie is loosened or the tie is totally broken or lost?

We need to cope with the change!

More on this topic coming…. stay tuned.

Thoughts? Comments? Thank you

07/24/2012