grow older better

Author: Lynn Dorman, Ph.D.

  • Giving Thanks

    Happy Thanksgiving or Happy Thursday

    I love Thanksgiving – but it has not been a family holiday in ages and has rather become an extended-family holiday where friends and visitors gather for a pot luck feast.  This was true in Boston, then in D.C. and now here in Portland.

    What started years ago, well before I moved here, is what is called "Orphan Thanksgiving" – and it has become an anticipated event.

    Many years ago, my neighbors were staying here for Thanksgiving and put out an invite to anyone who was also not going anywhere.  Since it was such fun, it has since become the destination spot for Thanksgiving – so much so that fewer go away and instead arrive with visiting family and friends.

    As we are a small neighborhood most everyone knows everyone else and a relaxing day with all sorts of good food to eat and good wine and beer to drink makes for a grand afternoon and evening.  [With football games on of course!]

    And we all live within walking distance so there is never a need to drive and be in traffic…..

    So readers, whether you spend toady with family, biological or extended, or take the time to get away for a vacation, enjoy today and remember that being social is good for your health!

    PS Don't forget to share lots of your social-ness with those 4 footed neighbors and family : – )

    In our neighborhood the water fowl are already gathering – they know lots of bread crumbs are coming today….


  • being thankful


    I love Thanksgiving – now that I am an adult.  thanksgiving pot luck

    As a child, I did not like it  – we spent the day with relatives and I was bored – it was the pre-TV days.

    Most of those relatives were not child oriented and had nothing around for me to do.   [Well – I did get to really really love the Bronx Zoo.]

    As I got older I said no to those family outings and my parents invited the relatives to our house.  Then I could disappear into my room where I had "stuff" to amuse me – or I could skip out and go to a friend's house.

    After I moved to Boston, I started doing Thanksgiving with friends there and those friends became family.  My mother came up sometimes but then she moved to Florida and her Thanksgiving visits were less frequent.

    Out in Portland, Thanksgiving is a neighborhood potluck event.  It started several years before my arrival – and is a fun filled afternoon – good food, good wine and beer and super company … It's become so popular that few plan on going anywhere for Thanksgiving.   We invite friends and relatives to come here.  We stay put as most can walk to the event and we are all thankful for all that we have.

    What are you thankful for this year?  health?  wellness?  friends?  pets?  

    We all have a lot to be thankful for and although Thanksgiving is the main day for giving thanks – being thankful or grateful is something we can be everyday – all year long!

  • Holidays and Family = ?

    Holidays PLUS family equals [what] for you?

    Holidays can be very,  and I mean VERY,  stressful for grown ups who are spending that time with family of origin [those you had around when you were little.]

    Why?  People tend to have difficulty with change.  If you go back to the house and family you grew up with – it is often hard for them, and you,  to act differently than when you were all younger. 

    Parents tend to treat grown children as children and siblings tend to display all those not-so-lovely sibling rivalries.  As you want to be, or try to be an adult – there is a human tendency to revert to that lowest common denominator – family snipping.

    Can it be changed?  Difficult, but not impossible.  Change requires that all acknowledge that change has occurred and that we are all very different now.  Harder still at the old homestead.

    Solutions?  Neutral territory helps – meet NOT at the home of a family member but at a place no one has history with.  I admit this takes away from the idea of "family" holiday – but is it really going to be a pleasant one if your are at your parents or siblings home thinking STRESS  now – even before going?

    Your solutions? Please leave a comment

  • After the rainstorm

    I usually miss the start of the rainbows when they are brightest – especially the double ones – but today I was lucky


    double rainbow

     

    rainbow with airplane

  • More On Medicare Open Season Stupidity

    subtitled – why we need Health Care Reform and need it very badly

    Got my 186 pages of Medicare and my private insurance coverage information  a few weeks ago.  No I did not read it thoroughly and never will.  [Disclaimer – I counted the pages for notes, the unnumbered pages and the covers]

    Medicare 2010 document

     

    More recently I got the OFFICIAL medicare.gov document – it  for Oregonians as each jurisdiction gets its own version.  Page count = 128 [the feds do count covers in their numbering system.]

    What do these 314 pages tell me?

     

    • I really really need new glasses..so made that appointment
    • A lot of trees gave their lives for me 🙁
    • The proliferation of Medicare Advantage Programs is disgusting
    • If you aren't careful you'll get suckered

    That last comment came from scanning the most unbelievable company.  This ONE company – and I will not give them air time – ALL ON ITS OWN has 36 options.  Yes 36 different options!  By comparison mine has 3 – "basic" and "costs more" for anyone and "really costs more" for current members wanting to upgrade.   

    As others have options for different counties within the state maybe the 36 options have plans for block by block coverage – their descriptions are very vague… and all 36 options have the same phone number to get information – hmm call a sales rep to get truthful clear answers about each of the 36?  Not gonna happen.

    Health care reform should make this a more simple choice for those over 65.  The proliferation of plans and options is stupid and leads potentially to misrepresentation or even "honest" error by those who stand to make gobs of money from these choices.

    I did not look through the list of prescription drug plans – but add those to the mix and you have a confusing array of options here in Oregon – and elsewhere.

    Think of those who are blind or limited in reading capacity – how do they make their choices?  Scary – very scary!