Holidays and Family = ?

Lynn Dorman, Ph.D. // Aging


November 15  

Holidays PLUS family equals [what] for you?

Holidays can be very,  and I mean VERY,  stressful for grown ups who are spending that time with family of origin [those you had around when you were little.]

Why?  People tend to have difficulty with change.  If you go back to the house and family you grew up with – it is often hard for them, and you,  to act differently than when you were all younger. 

Parents tend to treat grown children as children and siblings tend to display all those not-so-lovely sibling rivalries.  As you want to be, or try to be an adult – there is a human tendency to revert to that lowest common denominator – family snipping.

Can it be changed?  Difficult, but not impossible.  Change requires that all acknowledge that change has occurred and that we are all very different now.  Harder still at the old homestead.

Solutions?  Neutral territory helps – meet NOT at the home of a family member but at a place no one has history with.  I admit this takes away from the idea of "family" holiday – but is it really going to be a pleasant one if your are at your parents or siblings home thinking STRESS  now – even before going?

Your solutions? Please leave a comment

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About the Author

Native of NYC who moved a lot, got several degrees, and has been a lifelong writer and reader... I am interested in many things - and I write [and teach] about them - especially the human lifespan and healthy aging

Lynn Dorman, Ph.D.