grow older better

Tag: what is old age

  • The “fat and uglies”

    I had a good friend, sadly one who died 2 years ago, who would say she was having "one of those fat and ugly" days.  She was neither fat nor ugly – but I knew what she meant – [after all we were both psychologists.]

    Thought of her the other day – probably as I have an old medicine bottle she once gave me and I was dusting it…

    For old medicine bottlethose who like old bottles – here are two photos:  It was from a physician's home/office on Beacon Street in Boston.


     

     

    It's 2010 – a new year, a new decade and the year I turn 70.  Lately I've begun to think I am having some of those "fat and ugly" days;  but sometimes mine feel more like "old and cranky." 

    The time period between Thanksgiving and my birthday is always a not-so-good-time for me as it's usually cold, dark, wet or snowy [or all of the above] depending on where I have lived.  And it's a time for self-reflecting for all sorts of reasons – new year, new age, holidays, etc.

    With several friends having died in the last few years, I have that mixed brain of being glad I am still here and then quickly wondering if I'll ever finish all the projects I started in the last few years.

    This is one of those paradoxes of human development.  Being happy and sad at the same moment for the very same reason.

    But then Janus – for whom January is named – looked forward and backwards at the same time so I guess I can do that too.  Sad about who died and what did not get done; happy that I am still here and able to write.

    Happy 2010!!

    P.S. The parenting e-book is nearing completion and yes I did start the e-book on aging. 

    [I was told a second e-book is quicker to do than the first so the aging book should be a piece of cake so to speak.]

     

     

     

  • Do I like being old?

    From a friend back East

    I had posted this before my mess up and it was lost when I reverted to a backup- so here it is again…and yes I now back up every day – I do learn from some of my errors  

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    I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly.  As I’ve aged, I’ve become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself.  I’ve become my own friend.  I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avante garde on my patio.  I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. 

    I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
     
    Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?  I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50’s,  60 &70’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love … I will.
     
    I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.  They, too, will get old.
     
    I know I am sometimes forgetful.  But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
     
    Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.  How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car?  But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.  A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
     
    I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.  So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
     
    As you get older, it is easier to be positive.  You care less about what other people think.  I don’t question myself anymore.  I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.
     
    So, to answer your question, I love being old.  It has set me free.  I like the person I have become.  I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.
     
    And I shall eat dessert every single day if I feel like it.  
     
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    And yes, Twitter friends,  I’m the one who frequently has ice cream for a meal.
     

  • The End of the Snow and the Beginning of New Ideas

    What an unbelievable week. From feet of snow and ice – burst pipes in homes and moorages [my moorage included ] to pot luck dinners with friends, from hard to navigate roads to: TA DA – a night of warm rain and now no snow in sight! It went away that fast….

    Even the spring bulbs that had started growing in our warm Fall are perky and green – that after being covered with ice and snow for the week. Now we do the fixing up and I have figured out how to replumb the kitchen without pulling up a floor board or 2 or 3 which would have to await warm weather. Got the idea from a neighbor – the crawl space between roof and ceiling!

    It’s hard to think outside a box and in this case the box is that most have homes here have the plumbing under the floors and therefore close to the river. It took a mention of pipes in the “attic” to joggle my brain…and it’s not age related at all….it’s that we think first along lines similar to what we see on a daily basis or along familiar thought patterns.

    The message is that we need to let the imagination run free and imagine what can be – not what is….it’s something I think we all need more practice doing….

    glyconutrients, healthy aging, growing older, aging, nutrition, exercise, eating properly,

  • Here’s a question, and some variants, to ponder

    What is old age? Or – when does old age start? Or even this: Is there really such a “thing” as old age?

    I have taught life span development many times over the decades and it’s a question that came up [and comes] up in college classes and now it’s popping up among other populations – even among those who might be considered to be “in” their old age.

    I have heard many 20-somethings talk about “those poor senior citizens” who collect social security. The “seniors” are often described as infirm, unable to work and otherwise to be pitied. These same 20-somethings most likely come into contact with those over 65 – who are still working, still active and hardly pitiable…but the 20-somethings do not see those over-65ers as being over 65.

    So when are you old? Is it an age determination? or is it something else?

    When I was a “young kid” a few years removed from graduate school – many of the local psychology professors were beginning to think and write about aging but few had really started studying it. One such psychologist jokingly said that only when we all got older would psychologists start really understanding older ages. I think she was right.

    Studying older and aging populations is relatively new…and defining old age keeps changing…

    Me? I hate the term “old age.” It has no real meaning. We do not speak of childhood as “new age” or junior – so why label some as old age or senior? I much prefer “old fart” – it stops people in their tracks – annoys some and makes many laugh… I ask for my old fart discount when I go to a particular store on what I call old fart Wednesdays – when we old farts get a 10% discount.

    glyconutrients, healthy aging, growing older, aging, nutrition, exercise, eating properly,