grow older better

Tag: human interest

But I Don’t Know What To Do Or How To Do It!
When I talk to groups of people about being self-employed, it seems the older people in the audience may be a bit more afraid than younger folks about being self-employed.

It isn’t just older folks who can’t find jobs but we older ones have had many more years of being in someone else’s employ and may not have any real idea of what we can do or how we can do it.

Or we think we don’t know what to do or how to do it.

Or we may just be plain old scared!

We need to step out of our comfort zones and change our emotional attachment to jobs!

Think about it – you are out of a job because your job had NO emotional attachment to you!

I won’t go into a rant about businesses, outsourcing and greed here [I have another blog for that] but we have learned that if you are an employee, you can be let go at the drop of the proverbial hat.

We used to think that if we found a good job and worked hard, we would be taken care of for life. We’d have that job til we were 65, then we’d have a pension, continued health care coverage and also Social Security benefits.

This is no longer the case. Jobs have been lost, pensions gobbled up in the Wall Street mess and Social Security stuck in the mud.

If you weigh the scary scenarios – you might begin to think that trying your hand at being self-employed is not as scary as depending on a job or the government.

Yes. It can be scary! But it can also be freeing.

Imagine:
- making money from what you already know how to do.
- making money from a hobby you have loved for years
- getting up each day and seeing your income making activity as fun
- letting your creativity having free rein
Then imagine how your emotional self will feel when you earn that first real bit of money! Your self-esteem will sky rocket!!

You don't know what to do? Here's a suggestion:

Start right now and make a list of all the things you are good at.

Just let your brain run free and if you get stuck, ask your friends and family what they see you as good and great at doing.

And stay tuned for what to do with your list.
07/08/2011
Older and Unemployed? Try Working For YOU!
From everything I hear, there might be a small increase in Social Security for 2012 – BUT – any increase is likely to be offset by an increase in the cost of Medicare. So it seems we will be into year 3 of no actual increase in the monthly income.

The economy is improving slightly but I'll bet older people are not the ones that will be getting hired or getting the "good" jobs.

Older people with experience are seen as requiring higher pay levels. It's better for the bottom line to hire young people for lower pay.

Then there is the office mentality [shh – it's a well kept secret] of not hiring people smarter or more capable than you because they might "get" your job.

People who are not seen as threats are safer hires.

In short: The job market isn't going to look too good for older workers for a long while – if ever. And if you rely on Social Security – it's not going to increase.

I therefore put this question out there for you:

If you want to increase your income [and most do] why not be your own boss?

Stop job hunting!

For most, job hunting is a debilitating experience. You apply for many jobs and do not even get a courtesy reply of "sorry." You don't even get an acknowledgement that your resume has been received. In fact, you never hear anything from the places you apply to.

And if you do manage to get a live interview, you may still never hear from them again. Interviews are done for many reasons, and, in my opinion, not all of them ethical reasons.

What can you do to earn money?
- Become your own boss!
- Become an entrepreneur!
- Do what you always wanted to do!
- Turn your long time dreams into reality!
There is much to say about being self employed or an entrepreneur that I'll post on the topic over the next few weeks.

Stay tuned in

Comments? Questions?
07/07/2011
Wow – You Don’t Look Your Age!

When people say, "You don't look your age" – or “I’d never have guessed you were that old,” we are supposed to think of it as a complement.

But to me, the developmental psychologist, it means that they have a preconceived idea of what "my age" should look like: a preconceived notion or bias about certain ages; especially “older” ages. We are our ages; therefore we do look our age!

We grow up with many biases about people and other things because having biases is a part of being human. Your biases are based on your family, community and culture. [I write more about biases in You Can Totally Screw Up As A Mom And Still Raise Great Kids.]

Certain biases are neither good nor bad, but it is important to know your own biases as they affect what you see, do and say.

And many of our biases center around "ages and stages."

We often compartmentalize people as being and looking certain ages and stages – and then we often comment on how they are not doing as we expected!

"Stop acting like a child!"
“Act your age!”
“You are too old to be acting like that!”
“You are too young to be acting like that!”

The next time you are tempted to say anything relating to a person's "age," stop and think about what you really mean!

Comments? Thank you

07/03/2011
Brains and Multitasking Written Products

In my book, You Can Totally Screw Up As A Mom And Still Raise Great Kids, I say this:

I had a conversation one day with the mother of a one-year-old who was saying that her daughter's language development had seemed to stall – but that she was running all over the place. That happens – pieces of the development puzzle often compete with each other. Some adults, the saying goes, can't "think and chew gum at the same time." Well – in adults we see it as funny – in kids – it's part of the pattern of language and physical development.

The body needs a lot of energy for language and for running – or in broader terms for cognitive development and physical development. At this point in your child’s life, it may be that the amount of energy required for one of these activities is so great, that one is all your child can do at a time.

After the walking/running is under control – language will zoom ahead. It hadn't stopped developing – it was still undergoing the process but we weren't seeing it – or hearing it.

Well – I seem to be like the child. I finished the book and fiddled with it: working on the cover and formatting to get it up for sale: You Can Totally Screw Up As A Mom And Still Raise Great Kids [on Amazon for your Kindle] and at Barnes and Noble for your Nook.

Then my fingers and brain seemed to be controlled by another ebook just waiting to be written and that one is It's Not Always Baby Fat! which is about our childhood obesity epidemic.

It too is now published: It's Not Always Baby Fat! [for your Kindle] or [for your Nook.]

BUT

it seemed my brain, fingers and time can only go toward "so much" writing and then no more – and so my blog posting stopped! Just like the one-year-old's language development had stopped when she started running.

I could switch from writing one book to the other – but until recently [a lull in the brain?] I could not switch from book to blog…

Is it normal brain functioning? Or aging? Or just my quirk?

Or is it a simply a good lesson to learn!

That what we think of as childhood development is not always only in childhood – sometimes the same normal processes are at work in adults!

Do you ever have tings like this happen? Please share your thoughts.

06/13/2011
Mother’s Day 2011

The Original Mother’s Day Proclamation

I post this poem every year but commentary differs.

We have gotten so far away from the original thoughts of Julia Ward Howe and made Mother's Day into yet another day to promote shopping and buying.

[my mom, circa 1932]

We are encouraged to telephone, send cards, send flowers and buy mom all matter of stuff.

I doubt many Mother's Day shoppers even know how this day came to be or that it started as an anti war poem!

Take time this weekend to reflect about what Julia Ward Howe wrote.

Mother's Day Proclamation – 1870
by Julia Ward Howe

Arise then…women of this day!

Arise, all women who have hearts!

Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!

Say firmly:

"We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,

Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,

For caresses and applause.

Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn

All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.

We, the women of one country,

Will be too tender of those of another country

To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the voice of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with

Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!

The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."

Blood does not wipe our dishonor,

Nor violence indicate possession.

As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil

At the summons of war,

Let women now leave all that may be left of home

For a great and earnest day of counsel.

Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means

Whereby the great human family can live in peace…

Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,

But of God –

In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask

That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,

May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient

And the earliest period consistent with its objects,

To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,

The amicable settlement of international questions,

The great and general interests of peace.

******************
Let's elect more mothers and end war!

And in the meantime – let's bring the troops HOME!!

Peace

05/07/2011