Tag: family

  • When Kids Move Back Home

    my son and I in Chicago

    For many reasons, largely economic, grown kids are moving back home.

    I’ve not experienced this for myself – but soon I will.

    My son and daughter-in-law have decided to leave Chicago and move to Portland. While this has never been his “home” they will be staying with me for a while.

    I moved to Portland well after my son had left home – and the home he left was not any of the ones he grew up in. So our story is already a bit different than kids returning to their original nests. But – although the nest is different, I am still his mommy and he is still my kid…and it is that relationship that will go through interesting variations.

    He has visited me as an adult, even staying for a few months one summer. But even that was different as that's when he met the woman who is now my daughter-in-law and he spent a lot of time at her place.  And i have been to Chicago and stayed with them.

    But now we will be spending more time together than we have done in 14 years! We will share meals, cooking, household chores and fun times.

    I’ve written about issues that arise at holidays when one goes to a parental house for say thanksgiving and one is again treated as a “child.” But over the years my son and I have racked up hours of phone conversations, or in person conversations, and we have been able to pretty well negotiate that shift from parent-child to two equally stubborn, talkative political minds.

    And now there will be another person in the mix, my son’s wife, adding to the intrigue. She’s stayed with me when she’s come to visit her friends and family but we have never had all of us together for a stretch of time.

    It’s great having a child who knows you write about his life….as he said when referring to You Can Totally Screw Up As A Mom And Still Raise Great Kids “it’s my life but you are part of it too”

    It won’t all happen til Fall and I’ll keep you posted about how we manage.

  • April Fool Memories

    In Vermont you get a lot of snow – really a lot of snow!  But schools rarely close unless it's very bad – or unexpected – or both!

    For years prior to Vermont, my son and I played April Fool tricks on each other – usually along the line of trying to get the other to look at some imaginary object or some event that was not happening.

    On April 1 of his year in VT there was a 2-foot snow storm and school was canceled.  I knew he would not be happy if he got up and took a shower only to find out he could have slept in – so I woke him around 5:30 AM to tell him there was no school due to a snow storm.

    His reply was along the lines of "ha ha I know it's April Fool and I am not falling for that."  I suggested he look out the window but as that had been our usual "fool" he refused.  He got up and was heading for a shower and I tried most seriously to again tell him there was no school.

    I forget how I managed to convince him to look out a window – but he finally did. 

    His words were not appropriate for a family-friendly blog so I won't print them

    It was such a funny experience I recall it most every April 1 – and especially on days like today when my friends in New England tell me they got hit with another April Fool snow storm!

    Happy April Fool

    P.S. The story is true and neither my son nor I live in New England anymore….

    What's your favorite April Fool memory? Let us know below in the comments…thanks

  • being thankful


    I love Thanksgiving – now that I am an adult.  thanksgiving pot luck

    As a child, I did not like it  – we spent the day with relatives and I was bored – it was the pre-TV days.

    Most of those relatives were not child oriented and had nothing around for me to do.   [Well – I did get to really really love the Bronx Zoo.]

    As I got older I said no to those family outings and my parents invited the relatives to our house.  Then I could disappear into my room where I had "stuff" to amuse me – or I could skip out and go to a friend's house.

    After I moved to Boston, I started doing Thanksgiving with friends there and those friends became family.  My mother came up sometimes but then she moved to Florida and her Thanksgiving visits were less frequent.

    Out in Portland, Thanksgiving is a neighborhood potluck event.  It started several years before my arrival – and is a fun filled afternoon – good food, good wine and beer and super company … It's become so popular that few plan on going anywhere for Thanksgiving.   We invite friends and relatives to come here.  We stay put as most can walk to the event and we are all thankful for all that we have.

    What are you thankful for this year?  health?  wellness?  friends?  pets?  

    We all have a lot to be thankful for and although Thanksgiving is the main day for giving thanks – being thankful or grateful is something we can be everyday – all year long!