When Kids Move Back Home


my son and I in Chicago

For many reasons, largely economic, grown kids are moving back home.

I’ve not experienced this for myself – but soon I will.

My son and daughter-in-law have decided to leave Chicago and move to Portland. While this has never been his “home” they will be staying with me for a while.

I moved to Portland well after my son had left home – and the home he left was not any of the ones he grew up in. So our story is already a bit different than kids returning to their original nests. But – although the nest is different, I am still his mommy and he is still my kid…and it is that relationship that will go through interesting variations.

He has visited me as an adult, even staying for a few months one summer. But even that was different as that's when he met the woman who is now my daughter-in-law and he spent a lot of time at her place.  And i have been to Chicago and stayed with them.

But now we will be spending more time together than we have done in 14 years! We will share meals, cooking, household chores and fun times.

I’ve written about issues that arise at holidays when one goes to a parental house for say thanksgiving and one is again treated as a “child.” But over the years my son and I have racked up hours of phone conversations, or in person conversations, and we have been able to pretty well negotiate that shift from parent-child to two equally stubborn, talkative political minds.

And now there will be another person in the mix, my son’s wife, adding to the intrigue. She’s stayed with me when she’s come to visit her friends and family but we have never had all of us together for a stretch of time.

It’s great having a child who knows you write about his life….as he said when referring to You Can Totally Screw Up As A Mom And Still Raise Great Kids “it’s my life but you are part of it too”

It won’t all happen til Fall and I’ll keep you posted about how we manage.

Native of NYC who moved a lot, got several degrees, and has been a lifelong writer and reader... I am interested in many things - and I write [and teach] about them - especially the human lifespan and healthy aging

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