grow older better

Category: Aging

  • On a dog dying

    Sam - a dog who is missed

    Sam – a dog who is missed / photo by Lynn Dorman

    Sam is a Malamutt I adopted almost 8 years ago – when he was about 2 1/2 years old.  He had a different name when I adopted him but within a short time he seemed liked a Sam and he loved the name.  So Sam he became!

    We moved to Portland almost 7 years ago and it was a perfect spot for him: dogs, dog parks and dog people…he was in heaven!

    This summer, soon after he turned 11, he started fading.  At first I thought it was the heat [he and I don’t “do” heat very well] but he never really perked up as we went into late August – and then he went on a steady decline.

     

    It was hard on me and I spent a lot of time just being with him. I made him special meals and sat with him as he ate.  His legs had trouble holding up his 120 pounds so he ate more when lying down.

     

    For a dog who never met a food he did not like it was sad to see him not want to eat much of anything.

     

    His systems were all still working and up to his last few days, he was still able to walk ever so slowly up the ramp to the road.  But there came a day he could not longer do that.

     

    I won’t go into detail here about his last few days, and our conversations, but I will offer some insights I have had in the almost 3 weeks since he died and why his death has been harder than the death of other dogs.

     

    As an adult, I have had a dog or two and/or a child around for over 40 years.  I got my first dog when I was about 29 and so I have had a dog or my son to care for [or need me] since then.

    With Sam’s death I realized this is the first time since I was 29 that I don’t have a dog or child in the house!  It’s like I have nothing to “take care of.”

     

    Yes I have a cat, and for about 2 weeks after Sam died, she hung around the house and the moorage – but now she is back to being a cat.  She stays out all day and sometimes all night.  And like a cat, she is affectionate only when she wants to be – not like Sam who just loved people watching and being patted.

     

    And for now, I am taking care of me.  I can work, travel and do things without having to go home to feed and walk a dog or call my friend to do that for me. 

     

    It’s hard at times, but I am beginning to enjoy a real empty nest.

     

    Comments? Thank you

     

  • Funny Prayer about Getting Old

    A friend sent this to me for posting [thank you Britt]

    It plays on osme of the steretyopes I have written about but even so I laughed a lot watching it!

  • Bottoms Up! A duck “tail”

    Time for a change of pace – just as in "real" life – a blog needs some fun time too

    Could not resist running for my camera today… it was like watching  synchronized swimmers..

  • Scam alert!

    I haven't posted about email scams in a while so it's time for an update.

    The scammers are increasing their "volume" by saying  that they "know" you have been dealing with x, y and z [named persons] and you have to stop!  They are also using Barrister and Esq. in their names so you might think they are really lawyers.

    Why do they do this? Most people get anxious when they get mail from attorneys.. [I have a law degree and I hate getting mail from legal entities.]

    BUT – remember these scammers DO NOT KNOW YOU!

    They are making idle threats to scare you into contacting them…

    As the economy stays stagnant and people are out of work and hoping for a solution to money woes – a promise of inheriting millions that "someone" left to you has appeal.

    But ask yourself – if they were legitimate wouldn't they know how to reach you via "real" mail and not be using email? and email that is not sent to your actual name.

    If you have friends or family who you think might actually believe these emails – please pass this post along to them.

    The reason we all keep getting this kind of email is that people actually DO fall for the scam because if not one did – they would stop!

     

  • Senior citizens don’t be categorized – define yourself instead!

    Would you like to be categorized – or would you rather be defined?
    Before you answer – read on a bit – there is a subtle difference between the 2 ideas. 
    You define yourself.  Others categorize you. R. Peterson
    Think about this difference.  
    If you allow yourself to be categorized. you may find yourself described as being:
    • old
    • inactive
    • poor
    • unhealthy
    • decrepit
    • bent over
    • wheelchair bound
    • ready to die

    [to cite a few stereotypes]

    But – if you define yourself – there is no limit to the list of descriptors you can use!

    Senior citizenship is being:

    • a cougar
    • a master skier [squash player, golfer, runner, etc.]
    • wealthy
    • learned
    • a font of wisdom
    • a treasure trove of knowledge
    [add your own descriptions]
    Reflect on the difference between the two lists. 
    The first is a list of stereotypes or myths that too many people have about those over 65 – and especially about those over 70. 
    Can you imagine how those over 90 are described?  Scary – isn't it ?
    The second is a list of what older persons can do and are now doing. And these are behaviors, and knowledge, which many cultures cherish and nourish. It’s just that our stereotypical blinders keep us from seeing this.
    “Wise elders,” who are respected, and from whom advice is sought, sounds like a far better description than “nosy old coot.” Especially when those so described may have the same wisdom to impart.
    If you let others categorize you – you lose some of your own “self-ness.” You become a statistic or a stereotype. Worse – you begin to believe that this is the way older persons are supposed to be and act.
    You follow what in psychology is known as the self-fulfilling prophecy; you actually become what others think of you or how they have categorized you.
    How is this possible? Because there are very few large populations of active healthy seniors to study and the researchers are mostly “younger” – so they are not surrounded in the workplace by healthy 70 year olds.
    When you define yourself – you maintain a large degree of individuality -and independence – which are vital to healthy aging. 
    So snub your nose at the categories and category makers and define your own way through the aging process!
    Don’t worry about what others think of you – especially if they say things like: “aren’t you too old to still be skiing?” or playing softball or even working? 

    Think up a cute response that lets those “others” know you will keep doing what it is you like to do –

    NOT what the category makers think you should be doing.

    And you? Category or definition?

    Please comment below – thank you